A Competition for the Ages
by ginnyrules27
Summary: When James is caught not paying attention in class one too many times, the professor assigns him a punishment unlike any other. James has to convince the professor by way of audience that there is better music than Celestina Warbeck. But how? ONESHOT!


A Competition for the Ages

A/N: I OWN NOTHING! Really, I should be kept from Youtube for a while as that is where I got the inspiration for this next story.

"Mr. Potter, will you please pay attention!" Professor Wilson snapped. It wasn't my fault I thought that Celestina Warbeck was the worst musician known to wizard kind. I've told him this on occasion.

"Why? You'll just snap at me in five minutes anyway," I replied. My friend Luke hissed at me.

"Dude! James, he's about to blow his top!"

"Not my problem, we passed our OWL's for History of Magic and they decided to change it to History of Wizarding Music."

"Seeing as Mr. Potter still refuses to pay attention," Wilson snapped, "I have no choice but to assign—"

I waited, on tenterhooks. To everyone's surprise, Wilson had been the only teacher to not give me a detention. If I could get a detention from him, then I would have a detention from every teacher in the school.

"—for him to perform the type of music he fines more interesting than the famous Celestina Warbeck. Due next week during dinner in the Great Hall, and we'll be comparing it to another student's performance of Celestina Warbeck. If he can prove that there is 'better' music, I'll give him an O for the rest of the year. If he can't, he fails."

I groaned, not because of the punishment but because he didn't give me a detention. Luke rolled his eyes at me as we left.

"Only you mate could complain about not getting a detention," he said as we made our way to the Common room.

"But he's the last professor I haven't received a detention from," I said as we plopped down on our chairs. Al and Rose came up to us.

"Heard about your punishment from Wilson," Al said with a chuckle. "Are you seriously going to sing in front of the whole student body?"

"Doy," I rolled my eyes. "How else am I going to prove to Wilson that there is some music better than Warbeck?"

"Good point," Rose said with a shudder. I smirked; even fourth years could see Warbeck was ancient trash.

"Can we join?" the two asked at the same time. Luke even looked interested. I thought for a moment. A group of half-bloods going against head of Slytherin?

"Sure!" I said with a grin. "But we'll need more people."

"Scorpius wouldn't mind," Al said with a grin. The Malfoy heir was one of the most notable half-blood known to Hogwarts, even if his parentage was like mine and Al's. One half-blood and one pureblood as parents.

"Cameron would be game," Luke told me. "My older brother owes me for helping him out in Potions."

"Can you talk to some Ravenclaws Rosie?" I asked, thinking this could be a fun little prank.

"Sure James," my younger cousin said. "Everyone hates Wilson, even the Slytherins. I'm sure I can convince the Ravens to join in."

"I'll talk to the Puffs," Al said. "They'd join in a heart beat."

We all grinned, thinking what hell we'd be able to give Wilson and whatever pansy of a student he managed to sing that tripe known as music.

The whole week was spent recruiting and practicing the music. Al had recruited Michael and Corey Finch-Flechly, two Hufflepuffs who joined the minute Al had mentioned going against Wilson. Rose had also come through, recruiting Colin Creevey II and William Davis.

"How much longer is this going to take?" William said. "Unlike some, I do have OWL's to study for."

"Davis, shut your trap," Cameron rolled his eyes. "OWL's aren't until June and we're in November."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion, snake," William shot back. I hopped in the middle before it became yet another duel.

"Guys," I said. "You want to prove Wilson wrong or not?"

That always stopped the fighting. We'd decided to do a medley of old Disney songs that our parents used to show us when we were younger. We were just deciding on song order.

"I think James should start," Luke said. "His song has the most energy that it will keep the audience awake. Especially if we're going after who ever is singing Warbeck."

"Then who would be next?" Al asked.

"Scorpius," Cameron said. "His is the opposite to Potter's that it will show that our songs are diverse."

"Next?" I asked as I wrote down the order. I didn't write down which songs would be sung in case they got into the wrong hands.

"Corey," we all said at once. The song he'd chosen was funny, not to mention reflected him perfectly. He was a Seventh year; he could go no farther.

The Hufflepuff straighten his tie. "Well then, Al should be after me, if we're going from comedic to serious."

I nodded and wrote down my brother's name; despite the protests I heard from his mouth. Al never handled crowds, despite being the best seeker Gryffindor had seen since Dad.

"Colin, you'll be after Al," Michael said. "William can be after you."

"That's actually a good order," I said as I wrote it down. I didn't care if the snobby Raven disagreed; it was my grade on the line, not his. Yeah, yeah. Normally I didn't care much for grades but I wanted to make Dad proud this year. He'd been saying something of disappointment one time when I was sneaking downstairs to the kitchen and I knew he must have been talking about me and my grades. I didn't get the Outstanding in Defense like he did.

"Cameron and Luke would be funny in their duet together," Rose said with a chuckle. Even they agreed, so I wrote it down.

"Michael, you're alright with going next to last?" I asked and he nodded.

"What about me James?" Rose asked.

"You, my dear cousin, will be finishing the show," I said as I closed the parchment.

Finally the big day had arrived. Our group had gotten dinner early as we knew the contest would be held right after the last meal of the day.

"Ready to lose?" a voice asked from behind and I turned around to see Claire Nott. Also known as the most annoying girl in school.

"Depends," I asked. "Are you talking to me or yourself?"

"You obviously," she sneered. "No muggle music could compare to Warbeck."

"We'll see," Luke rolled his eyes and straightened his tie. Nott growled and stormed off, and it was then that I realized what she'd been saying.

"_She's_ singing Warbeck?" we all gasped. Claire Nott was the best singer in the school.

"Please," Rose scoffed. "She'll put them to sleep compared to our songs."

I tried to see Rose's side of things but it was hard to think positive when Wilson's favorite student and the best singer in the school was your competition.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," I could hear Wilson begin to speak and I poked my head around the curtain. The Great Hall was packed but the thing that drew my attention was a familiar head of black hair.

"Al!" I hissed. "Dad's here!"

"What?" Al gasped and came over. I pointed him out and sure enough, there was our father. Mum was sitting next to him, and Lily was situated between her and Uncle Ron.

"Blimey!" Al gasped. "The whole bloody family came. Even Teddy and Victorie!"

I couldn't speak. It really said something that the whole family came but I couldn't help but think that it wasn't true. The whole family wasn't there. Fred's namesake wasn't there, neither was mine or Lily's.

"Don't think that way James," Rose snapped, seeing my face. "They're here in spirit."

Luke interrupted Rose by dragging me over to another section of the curtain.

"They've brought out the portrait of Headmaster Dumbledore!" he said with a chuckle.

"Shh!" Cameron said. "Wilson's finally stopped speaking."

We all held our breath and sure enough, the familiar tripe of Warbeck began to spew from Nott's mouth.

_Oh, come and stir my cauldron,_

_And if you do it right,_

_I'll boil you up some hot strong love_

_To keep you warm tonight._

I groaned. Nott was bloody amazing, we had no shot!

"Don't count your phoenixes before they've experienced a burning day," Michael said. How could everyone feel confident except for me?

_Oh, my poor heart, where has it gone?_

_It's left me for a spell_

Every note made me feel more and more useless. Why hadn't Wilson just given me a detention? This was pure torture!

_and now you've torn it quite apart_

_I'll thank you to give back my heart!_

"It's over James," Al said. He too had a frown on his face. Mum said we'd inherited the Potter pessimism but Dad said we were just realists. We all straightened our ties, with the exception of Rose but she wouldn't let us see her just yet.

"Show time," Scorpius said with a small grin. I'd checked and hadn't seen his dad so maybe that's why the fake grin was in place instead of a real one. Meh.

Wilson stared at us in shock when no music started to play. That was part of our secret weapon. Colin blew on the pitch pipe and they all bowed their heads.

_Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba_

_Sithi uhhmm ingonyama_

I began to sing, and the others sang back up. I could see the crowd grin and some cheered .

_From the day we arrive on the planet_

_And, blinking, step into the sun_

_There's more to see than can ever be seen_

_More to do than can ever be done_

I could see Teddy chuckling and clapping. The others were doing fantastic with the background.

_It's the Circle of Life_

_And it moves us all_

_Through despair and hope_

_Through faith and love_

_Till we find our place_

_On the path unwinding_

_In the Circle_

_The Circle of Life_

I stepped back and saw the lighting dim as I did so. Rose must have been behind that, brilliant girl her. Some of the older members of the audience pulled out their wands and started raising them like they would a lighter. Scorpius stepped forward.

_I have often dreamed_

_Of a far-off place_

_Where a voice keeps saying_

_This is where I'm meant to be _

His eyes seemed to trail back to one spot, and I followed his gaze. There, sitting next to Astoria Malfoy, was his father. I knew from Al that Scorpius' father rarely came to any event. Scorpius' singing seemed to get stronger too.

_I will find my way_

_I can go the distance_

_I'll be there someday_

_If I can be strong_

_I know ev'ry mild_

_Will be worth my while_

_I would go most anywhere_

_to feel like I belong_

Scorpius stepped back into the group and Corey stepped forward. When he did so, we all started snapping. The crowd was getting into it, cheering as we danced. We made fools of ourselves, but we didn't care.

_Now I'm the king of the swingers_

_Oh, the jungle VIP_

_I've reached the top and had to stop_

_And that's what botherin' me_

I swear, I almost lost it when he went over to Wilson and slapped him on the back. Corey had said he'd do it but I didn't think he'd go through with it.

_I wanna be a man, mancub_

_And stroll right into town_

_And be just like the other men_

_I'm tired of monkeyin' around!_

_Oh, oobee doo_

_I wanna be like you_

_I wanna walk like you_

_Talk like you, too_

_You'll see it's true_

_An ape like me_

_Can learn to be human too_

Finally, it was the part I was dreading. Al needed to step out from the crowd and show them what he had. If he didn't, we'd mess up and my grade would be a big fat T for the year. Thankfully, Al managed to do it. Maybe it was Dad showing up, maybe it was the fact I'd told him I'd prank him from now till the end of the year if he hadn't, who knew? Fact was, he did.

_I can see there's so much to learn_

_It's all so close and yet so far_

_I see myself as people see me_

_Oh, I just know there's something_

_bigger out there_

_I wanna know, can you show me_

_I wanna know about these_

_strangers like me_

_Tell me more, please show me_

_Something's familiar about these strangers like me_

I could see Aunt Hermione laughing along with us, and Michael's father Justin had stood up and started to clap along with us. Colin stepped up and sang straight to the crowd.

_You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot_

_And you haven't got a clue_

_Somehow I'll make a man out of you_

We started to clap, and the crowd started to clap along with us. Even Dad, who tried to avoid public events as he got 'too much bloody attention,' as he liked to say, was clapping.

_(Be a man)_

_We must be swift as the coursing river_

_(Be a man)_

_With all the force of a great typhoon_

_(Be a man)_

_With all the strength of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_

_of the moon_

We'd stopped clapping and formed a chorus line. It was bloody hysterical and we had to fight to keep our faces straight. The crowd didn't, I thought I saw Lily crying from her laughter.

_Prince Ali!_

_Mighty is he!_

_Ali Ababwa_

William stepped up and for once had a grin on his face. We all could see Wilson's dour face as he began to realize that we were keeping the crowd entertained a lot more than Nott was with Warbeck.

_Strong as ten regular men, definitely!_

_He faced the galloping hordes_

_A hundred bad guys with swords_

_Who sent those goons to their lords…._

_(With sixty elephants, llamas galore_

_With his bears and lions_

_A brass band and more_

_With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers_

_His birds that warble on key)_

William had been having trouble with holding that note in practice, so I was slightly amazed when he seemed to have no trouble with it now. Of course, he now had an audience to show off for.

_Make way for prince Ali!_

Honestly, I thought I'd lose it again when Luke got down on his knees. The crowd certainly did, that was for sure.

_Crazy old Maurice, hmmm?_

_Crazy old Maurice. Hmmm._

_LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking_

_** A dangerous pastime**_

_I know_

I could see Uncle Ron lean in and whisper something to Aunt Hermione, but I couldn't tell what.

_But that whacky old coot is Belle's father_

_And his sanity's only "so-so"_

_Now the wheels in my head have been turning_

_Since I looked at that loony old man_

_See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle_

_And right now I'm evolving a plan_

_No one plots like Gaston_

_**Takes cheap shots like Gaston**_

_Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston_

_So his marriage we soon'll be celebrating_

_My what a guy!_

_Gaston_

We quickly set up the next scene and Cameron jumped when he saw Al in front of him, posing like a girl. Michael got in the middle of them.

_There you see her_

_Sitting there across the way_

_She don't got a lot to say_

_But there's something about her_

_And you don't know why_

_But you're dying to try_

_You wanna kiss the girl_

_Sha la la la la la_

_My oh my_

_Look like the boy too shy_

I gladly pretended to act as if I wasn't a good singer and began to warble out some horrible notes. Cameron shoved me down to the humor of the crowd.

_Ain't gonna kiss the girl_

_Sha la la la la la_

_Ain't that sad?_

_Ain't it a shame?_

_Too bad, he gonna miss the girl_

We stepped out and to the side, and Rose stepped out from behind the curtain. She certainly had grown, if the beautiful black dress she was wearing was any clue. From the looks she was getting, I knew I'd have to make sure none of those guys took advantage of my baby cousin.

_I wanna be where the people are_

_I wanna see_

_Wanna see 'em dancin'_

_Walkin' around on those_

_(Whad'ya call 'em?)_

_(__**Feet)**_

We all pointed to our feet, in response to Rose's delay. It'd been Rose's idea to incorporate some humor even in some of the serious songs.

_oh - feet_

_Flippin' your fins you don't get too far_

_Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'_

_Strollin' along down a_

_(What's that word again?) street_

_Up where they walk_

_Up where they run_

_Up where they stay all day in the sun_

_Wanderin' free_

_Wish I could be_

_In the Circle_

_I can go the distance_

_Strangers like me_

_Part of your world_

We ended with a loud chant and bowed to the roars coming from the crowd. Wilson got back up on the stage and the crowd quieted down.

"Well," he said and he sounded somewhat tense, "I guess it's clear who won between the two."

Scorpius smirked and Al chuckled as the others cheered. I grinned; an O would be better than detention any day. Well, that big grin of approval from Dad didn't hurt either.

A/N: Plot bunny came and bit me during the watching of random Youtube videos allowing you to receive this as the finished product. Please review! I do not own any of the songs mentioned, nor do I own the arraignment they were placed.


End file.
